I hate when straight people talk about how we “should never assume anyone is gay!!” based on appearance/mannerism/behaviour/anything
But they never talk about how assuming everyone is straight is harming people!!!
Not letting us talk about gay aesthetics and traditions and culture is just another way to silence and isolate us :)
It’s so disingenuous, too. Like…I know I look gay, okay? I get called out and harassed by strangers all the time over my appearance. And I do most of it on purpose! This isn’t some high school movie ugly duckling narrative; lesbians aren’t awkward wallflowers wishing desperately that they could look like straight girls, if only they’d ever learned how. As if we could escape being taught! I’m a grown adult and I choose to look this way.
If you really don’t think there’s anything wrong with being gay, why do you think it’s the polite thing to pretend you don’t see it, especially since it’s how I wish to be seen?
This is such a good post, my god. Sometimes I feel so guilty for recognizing other queer folks by picking up the signals - aka, “assuming based on stereotypes” - but the reality is that most of us who do have those signs and signals are intentionally coding to find each other and be ourselves visibly and loudly.
TODAY MY STUDENT WORKER ASSUMED I WAS STRAIGHT AND I HAVE LITERALLY NEVER BEEN SO INSULTED
I DID NOT SHAVE TWO-THIRDS OF MY HEAD AND COME TO WORK IN A MEN’S SWEATER TO BE MISTAKEN FOR HETEROSEXUAL
i remember a bunch of straight girls at work lamenting the fact that the new guy was gay and one of them was all “well, no one could have known until he said something!” and i was just like “yeah no. i knew the first time i interacted with him.” and they got so angry! how dare i make such assumptions! stereotyping is wrong! and just…look. i was the only out, loud, and proud queer person in the entire department when he arrived. we 100% exaggerate whatever personal characteristics match the stereotypes, especially when we’re entering new spaces, in order to send up a flare and draw the attention of our own kind. i saw that flare and sailed toward it ok? jeez.
people aren’t just straight until proven gay, susan.
i’m so glad someone put this into words. like, i hate the term gaydar now because it’s now synonymous to me with straights applying harmful stereotypes to non-straights. we don’t have gaydar in that sense. what we actually do is turn up our volume so other non-straights can hear and see us. queer-coding, in a sense. i mean, i can’t speak for everyone but that’s how it feels to me
It’s honestly bad when I was waiting on this post to turn into something about how we shouldn’t think or do this and I was shocked when it didn’t.
I walk around looking pretty butch, with a hate that says equality on it with rainbow and an engagement ring from my girl and people still think I’m straight at times. Also I have an undercut for when I’m not wearing the hat, which is a snapback.
Reasons to watch Derry Girls I don’t usually do these things, but this show is damn important:
It’s female led, female created, female written comedy. Lisa McGee is honestly a comedy genius and a fantastic writer. She’s an award winning writer, both for television and her time at the National Theatre, and shame on me for not having heard of her sooner.
By female led, I mean that not only is the main character a girl, four of the five central characters are girls, and the majority of the roles are women. There are only four recurring male characters.
It trended on twitter at number 4 world wide during its first episode, and continued to trend in the UK after almost every episode. The finale has just aired and it’s 5th world wide.
It got a second season on the strength of and reaction to the first episode alone, they announced the renewal before the second episode aired.
It’s got amazing ratings, 8.3 on imbd, 97% on google, and I am yet to see a review that isn’t positive.
(If, like me, you’re Norn Irish and stuck in England, it’s weirdly calming after a day of dealing with the fuckers)
There is no romance plot. Michelle is constantly trying to ride people, James briefly has someone into him, and Erin fancies a wee lad (played by Scorpius Malfoy), and at one point James and Erin fancy the same priest, and both Grandpa Joe and Aunt Sarah have brief flirtations with people, but none of these things are main plot points, the dynamic of the main characters is friendship and family, not romance.
I’m not going to spoil the last episode, but I truly believe it’s the best, most poignant episode of a comedy show since the end of Blackadder (the midseason finale of Brooklyn 99 season 5 almost ties but… I genuinely think this topped it).
Speaking of not spoiling anything, I won’t say who, but one of the main characters is gay, and they handled it… really well. For a show set in Derry in the 90s, the lack of homophobia is really refreshing (especially considering how much homophobia could have been there, considering the time and place). Lisa McGee made a choice to have characters actually preemptively call out other characters for homophobia.
It does not lose any sight of the historical setting. So much of the humour is Troubles-based, as in the very human reactions to what was happening, attitudes that are so real. The dangers and hardships are never played down (the end of the season, again, was stunning), the humour comes from how the characters contextualise what is happening. It’s very subtly dark comedy. A lot of the comedy isn’t that, but you can tell it was written by a Derry Girl herself. I watched a few episodes with the English housemates, and they didn’t laugh less than I did, but they laughed at entirely different moments.
It’s just damned clever, the comedy is damned clever.
The writing is wonderful, the characters are three-dimensional and human. The female characters are allowed to be flawed and fuck up and look bad and drink and swear and be weird and be strong and be hardasses; the male characters are allowed to be timid and caring and compassionate. I genuinely don’t remember the last time I saw a male character just… hold a baby. No remarks, no comments, no fear in the eyes, just a grandfather/father holding their wean.
It’s the only show I have ever watched alone that’s had me laughing out loud.
90s clothes and soundtrack.
Honestly just watch it for Sister Michael.
Just look through some of the gifs and if the one liners don’t convince you, idk what to tell you.
“We need to break down barriers here. To no longer define ourselves as Irish or British, Catholic of Protestant, but simply as human. With human hearts, and human heads, and human hands, and other human qualities because at the end of the day we’re all…humans!”
FMA
is a series which loves to dabble in themes of creation so it’s not surprising to have subtle nods towards sex.
To begin looking at this idea, let’s look at the episode surrounding Rush
Valley and the introduction of Izumi Curtis. It’s interesting how these episodes
are presented side by side of each other, considering one part features someone
who successfully gave birth, while the next part feature someone who failed to
give birth.
This
creates parallels of life and death which are important things in FMA as well
as adds depth to Izumi’s quote “always take pride in lives given to you.” The
reason these two episodes add depth to this quote is because you see new life
and practice as well as how easily life can slip through your fingers. In addition
to those parallels, if you were to look at Izumi and what she had lost during
human transmutation, you’ll notice they generalize it as losing some of her organs.
Considering the fact that you can live without a uterus and her husband had
said that she became infertile around that time, it’s possible to say what she
lost amongst her organs was her womb. If this idea stands true, we have yet another
theme of fertility added onto this episode. The giving birth is a theme of the
story by comparing thenatural reproduction of man through birth to theunnatural
reproduction of man attempted by alchemists.
Another
way they tie alchemy and reproduction together: Ed at the very end of Izumi episode
quoted saying, “alchemy is a part of that flow and the flow is life itself.”
The whole point of that episode was Ed and Al figuring out that all is one and
one is all. Basically meaning we are all part of a cosmic life cycle, we are
all born one day and we’ll all die one day.
Coupled
with the life and death observation, these symbolic representations through sexual
reproduction and birth seemed much more intentional. So, applying this notion,
we look at the episode where Greed first takes over Ling’s body. Well, looking
inside of Ling’s body during the application of the Philosopher’s Stone, we see
dozens, tens of dozens of souls all swarming about, aimlessly, as they attempt
to “penetrate” Ling.
All
these souls are trying to fight for the chance at being the one to birth into a
new body, a new world, a chance at life. Look at how Wrath mentions that
whether he was the soul of all the other souls to come out on top, he cannot
tell.
This
sounds a lot like how you have sperm racing against each other at the chance of
penetrating the egg, thus being the single sperm to have a chance at life. Out
of all the sperm you were the one to take over, you were the one to make it out.
This comparison is especially plausible when taken into account how Greed states
“I’m grateful to you for birthing me.”
Look
at how Father reacts to Hohenheim having children. He seemed surprised, baffled
even, possibly because it was something he himself cannot achieve.
First
why he may have created these so-called sin based sons and daughters whom
referred to him as “father”. He refers to them calling them “son” or “daughter”
occasionally.
This
may be his way of producing progeny since such natural feats are beyond him.
This kinda calls back to what we were saying before: a natural reproduction of
man through birth VS an unnatural reproduction of man attempted by alchemists.
Also, remember how we mentioned that alchemy is a part of that flow and the
flow’s life itself? Since Father was derived from alchemy, he’s therefore a
part of that great flow; if he’s a part of that flow, then maybe he too, as
does everyone else, adheres to the cosmic rules of the life cycle. Ergo,
despite him trying to do away with human notions, he cannot escape the urge to
want children. Something to act as a progression to his own existence. It is a
notion that is built into him at a cosmic level: one is all and all is one.
Alchemy is a part of that flow and the flow is life itself.
I want to
add another consideration: after the final fight between Ed and the Father, Hohenheim he’s full of remorse thinking back to the fact that nothing would have happened if he hadn’t generated
the homunculus with his blood. But Alex Armstrong
thanks him: “if you hadn’t brought these two boys into the world,
this nation would no longer exist”. This gives a further and considerable
importance to the fact that the greatest work that Hohenheim – the greatest
alchemist in the world of FMA – has done, has been obtained thanks to his
humanity and not to his alchemical knowledge. He has obtained the greatest work
as a human being, as a man, and not as an alchemist.
It is no coincidence that in the end, Edward Elric gives up his Gate of Truth
and has beautiful children.